As long as I can remember, I've been wasting my time tip-toeing around my dad because I'm afraid of hurting him, and that's becoming more and more of a problem for me. I understand that he's an overprotective man, but there's certainly a time that you need to step back and realize that your child isn't exactly a child anymore, that you've done all that you can to raise them right. You need to look at the situation logically and let them make their decisions on their own, because if you've instilled the morals that you intended, there shouldn't be any doubt in your mind that they're going to do the right thing.
I want to move out, but realistically, that takes me having a job - something that I would currently have if not for him telling me that I couldn't accept it. Instead, he needed me to get my sister from school, a situation which conflicted with said job. And I want a car, but no, I have to use the money that could be put toward that to pay him rent, which I could be wasting somewhere where I am actually capable of being an adult. I really do understand that I have responsibilities here, and I've accepted that. I've done what he's asked of me with little complaint (at least to him), and I've tried my hardest to make it simple for him. He's a single father, I understand that that's not always going to be easy, but I really do believe that I have to get out of here to be capable of growing as a person. And sure, it's not exactly going to be a piece of cake getting myself out into the world...I haven't tried to pretend it would be, but I believe it's time to figure that out for myself instead of being told so by my father.
Now he's telling me my other sister may be driving within a month, and that honestly doesn't even bother me. Once she's driving, there's nothing holding me here. I can get a job, I can live the way I want to live, I can leave without feeling like I'm abandoning the family, like I'm leaving them with no way of getting themselves to school. I'm turning twenty in less than a month - fucking twenty, and yet I can't go out on school nights, I can't buy myself the things I need, no, instead I'm treated like a twelve-year-old fucking child. I'm tired of it, and I've been so afraid of disappointing him that I've just kept my mouth shut in order to please him.