As long as I can remember, I've been wasting my time tip-toeing around my dad because I'm afraid of hurting him, and that's becoming more and more of a problem for me. I understand that he's an overprotective man, but there's certainly a time that you need to step back and realize that your child isn't exactly a child anymore, that you've done all that you can to raise them right. You need to look at the situation logically and let them make their decisions on their own, because if you've instilled the morals that you intended, there shouldn't be any doubt in your mind that they're going to do the right thing.
I want to move out, but realistically, that takes me having a job - something that I would currently have if not for him telling me that I couldn't accept it. Instead, he needed me to get my sister from school, a situation which conflicted with said job. And I want a car, but no, I have to use the money that could be put toward that to pay him rent, which I could be wasting somewhere where I am actually capable of being an adult. I really do understand that I have responsibilities here, and I've accepted that. I've done what he's asked of me with little complaint (at least to him), and I've tried my hardest to make it simple for him. He's a single father, I understand that that's not always going to be easy, but I really do believe that I have to get out of here to be capable of growing as a person. And sure, it's not exactly going to be a piece of cake getting myself out into the world...I haven't tried to pretend it would be, but I believe it's time to figure that out for myself instead of being told so by my father.
Now he's telling me my other sister may be driving within a month, and that honestly doesn't even bother me. Once she's driving, there's nothing holding me here. I can get a job, I can live the way I want to live, I can leave without feeling like I'm abandoning the family, like I'm leaving them with no way of getting themselves to school. I'm turning twenty in less than a month - fucking twenty, and yet I can't go out on school nights, I can't buy myself the things I need, no, instead I'm treated like a twelve-year-old fucking child. I'm tired of it, and I've been so afraid of disappointing him that I've just kept my mouth shut in order to please him.
No more.
Your dad is only going to realize you are a self-sufficient adult is after three to twelve months after you have moved out, and he is somehow persuaded to believe you aren't moving back in with him. Until then, you will always be his baby girl. It's unfortunate, but that seems to be the trend.(I must say, my original post was WAY more eloquent and well-worded. I resent having eaten.)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with this.I'm just so frustrated! I told him that I was planning to buy a car with my financial aid check that's coming in, and he told me that no, I needed to give him a large chunk of it again. I told him straight up, if I have to pay rent, but he cut me off and was like, "If you want to find some friends to move in with, go ahead and do it."I intend to. He'll miss me, but at twenty years old, I think it makes more sense than ever.
ReplyDeleteI would say, "me! me! :D" but we are full to the brim with roommates right now, and I am all hormonally so it might not be a good idea anyway (I have lately been more of a bitch than usual?) but if you need a place to crash for a couple of weeks I will most definitely say that my couch is open, and if you need to get away, you have my number.But yes, you need to get out and he needs to realize that it's time to let you go. You're more than old and mature enough to make your own decisions.
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