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8.02.2010

My life (this week).

My life has been a crazy mess lately, yet I couldn't be more happy. It's hella weird.

After a huge fight with my mom, she gave away the car she promised me to a relative that she can't even stand. I don't plan to talk to her again, and I really should feel worse about that, but I just can't. After so many bullshit disappointments, I don't feel close to her anymore. I feel like she's someone who causes me more pain than it's worth and I don't want that in my life.

After a huge fight with my dad, I didn't come home for a week and a half. I'm here tonight and I have to learn to start driving his mini-van to get my sisters and I back and forth to school once that starts. I'm not excited, because that thing scares the crap out of me. Way too much power for something so top-heavy.

After a huge fight with my boyfriend, we're broken up. I wasn't sure what I was going to do there, mostly because throwing away two years sounded like the most painful thing in the world. And while I'll probably always love him, when I really thought about it, I didn't love him like he deserved. We've been much less close than we used to be and we were spending so much time apart that it was like we weren't dating anyway. Not to mention the fighting, which was honestly the last straw in our relationship.

I also got in a fight with one of my best friends, mostly because I feel I can't trust her anymore. I told her something in complete confidence and she told my cousin. It wouldn't have been a problem if my cousin hadn't come and told my dad the next day. It was bull and I'm still a little upset, mostly because this friend knows for a fact that my cousin can't keep a story to himself. He also blows everything out of proportion and it becomes something like the game telephone, where the story is nothing like it was originally. I don't trust him with my secrets.

I got in a fight with a old riend that I haven't seen in a while as well, but he was too drunk to remember it. I've been in a lot of fights.

I've made quite a few new friends, already lost a few of them, but I'm happy to know the ones who are worth my time. I'm happy to have realized which ones weren't so quickly, as well.

I started talking to a boy that I used to know a few years back right after I broke up with my boyfriend. I wasn't intending for it to go anywhere, but when he asked me to see him when he still had a girlfriend, I decided not even to continue talking as friends.

I've talked to two different boys this week, one just fooling around and one that used to be a really good friend. The second is still talking to me, and I'm really happy to have him back in my life. I love two of his roommates and have gained a few new faces out of the deal, even if I can't stand the third roommate, who (I'm pretty certain) hates my guts. I think because she shares a room with him and is hoping for a hook-up, but whatever.

My life is extremely random lately and I'm pretty in love.