You know what's funny in that way that something's not very humorous but someone starts the sentence like it will be so you're all pumped for a joke that's never coming? The fact that I can't write humor. I know, you're totally laughing your ass off right now. Stop that, you're making me blush.
Anyway, in a seriously serious way, I'm terrible at writing to make people laugh, even though in person (some) people seem to get a kick out of me. I guess you need the tone of voice to add to it, or maybe it's my facial expressions? I've heard I have great expressions, but I wouldn't really know. Wait, are you saying my face is funny? I'm suddenly offended. I'll never take that as a compliment again, assholes.
I think I had a point, and I think it's that I can at least try and make you laugh every couple hundred posts, but I don't promise anything. Usually when I do, it comes across as forced and fake and nobody's laughing except for the people who laugh at other peoples' pain, because they're fucking dickbags. Whatever that entails.
That's the best I can do. Probably. Actually, I bet I can do a hell of a lot better, but that's never motivated me in any other area of my life and why should I suddenly change for you? Selfish prick.
I think I went from like, never posting to posting entirely too much in one day. Even though this post and the one before were totally not from the same day, and for some reason my dating's all wrong. Great.