I have to tell him these things, even though I don't know when I'll find the strength to.
I need to tell him that he's worthwhile, that he's brilliant, gorgeous, talented. I need to tell him that he's capable of doing great things in his life, if only he would try. I need to do everything in my power to make sure he believes all of this, because I truly do. I could list a million things to back up every compliment I've ever given, and he would completely dismiss all of it - even though, to me, they're more than compliments. To me they're fact.
But then I need to tell him that he can't accomplish anything if he keeps on the way he's going. And I need to make it clear that I can't keep holding on if he's going to continue to push me away, because I frankly can't move on this way. Because how can I walk away if he asks me to remain close? And how can he ask me to stay if when I do he completely disregards me? It's not fair, and I either need to be accepted and loved or to be completely let go. None of this half-and-half bullshit. None of this playing with my emotions.
I'll tell him I love him and that I probably always will. And I swear with every fiber of my being that I'll mean it. I'm sorry it had to be this way, I'll say, and tell him goodbye. I'll miss him and I'll probably cry, but I'll know that I've loved before, that I love currently, and that I'm capable of loving again.
A lot of things will end in my lifetime, until eventually my lifetime itself comes to an end. Until then, I won't give up. Until then, there will always be room in my heart for more.