I don't know what it is. I've never - probably never? - felt so comfortable around another person, not enough to actually (try and) discuss my internal issues, enough to try new things that I may not have even considered before. And while I'm probably not exactly open compared to other people, where I've come to be is pretty out there for me. The problem is that I'm more of a listener as compared to someone who may openly spill everything in their head, and you definitely made sure to point out that this bothers you - that you want to feel lost in conversation with me, and that I need to work on offering that. Fuck. How?
I know that I don't say the things that I should often enough, and I that I need to make it a point to. I want you to know how fucking brilliant you are - do you even realize that? That you're a talented, gorgeous person who can do so much better for himself? I won't tell you that it will be easy, because I don't believe anywhere inside of me that it will. And I'm not saying that you can accomplish this tomorrow. But it can happen, and it needs to happen. You deserve for it to happen.
And even though this will probably make me sound like a complete hypocrite, I'd like to see you focus on the good in your life instead of constantly settling on the bad, because it's not the only thing you're ever going to have. I just want to see you absolutely, genuinely happy. That's probably the only thing I'm not willing to pass on here.
I'm sorry that you haven't had better in your life, that you don't hear these things often, that you don't feel like you're worthwhile, but I want you to know that I know that you deserve better.